We miss you!
Paul Scott Smith, Sr.
July 9, 1959 to May 2, 2001
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Scott
When something devastating
happens, I try to find a reason for it, or I try to learn something from what
has happened. Scott’s
passing has taught me a valuable lesson. Scott
was a part of our family for many years and I barely knew him. He was for the
most part quiet and distant, except for rare occasions.
I accepted that Scott was just that way.
I really regret not knowing him better.
At his memorial service, I
heard his family describe a Scott I did not know and wondered how this could
happen. We are all so
busy in with our own lives that we don’t really spend the time with family
that we should. I saw Lauri’s
family mostly on the holidays, especially since we moved to Virginia.
We would drive to OC when we knew they were there, and we always invited
them to visit with us. Somehow time
gets away from you and the visits don’t happen, and the holidays are so hectic,
that the few hours together just tend to be a blur. I would complain that I only see my nephews a couple times
and year and I barely knew them.
Lauri, Paul, and Tyler are very
important to me and I will always be there for them; and I want to get to know
them better. Quiet people are the
hardest people to get to know, it takes more effort, and you are never quite
sure if you are bothering them or not. Tyler
is a very outgoing, talkative young man and he shares everything that crosses
his mind with you, but Paul is quiet like his dad, more introvert, and more
distant. I will not make the same
mistake with Paul, that I did with his dad; I will get to know him more.
He loves computers and is very talented.
He loves music. He enjoys
fishing. He loves the ocean. He has a quiet excitement that is sometimes hard to
see. He thanks you right away for anything you do for him. These are just a few
things, I know about Paul, but I want to know more.
Cindy
Ricky
When Ricky died it hurt so
much. Randy and I had not seen Rick
much the year or so before. Ricky had distanced himself from us and we allowed
him to do that because it was too hard to watch him slowly destroy himself.
Randy always knew that one day we would get “that” phone call and in
Nov of 97 we did. We both loved
Ricky very much and everything we do on this eastern shore reminds us of him.
Rick could never see how
lucky he was, he always saw what he didn’t have, not what he did have.
Ricky’s passing taught me to see how lucky I am for what I have, and
especially, who I have in my life. I am lucky! I have Randy and Randi Leigh, my
family, Randy’s family, and I still share closeness with Dave and his family.
I have a girlfriend that has been in my life since we both were toddlers and she
is like a sister to me; Carol is very special. Ruth, a girlfriend from school
keeps in touch with me and we share a few special conversations a year and a
love of Chincoteague.
Rick also had a need to
live life in “fast-forward”; he once told me if he wasn’t living on the
edge, life was just not exciting enough. His
passing taught me to slow down and smell the roses.
Life doesn’t have to be exciting to be good. I don’t need to live
from event to event, but from moment to moment.
Rick worked hard and played
hard. He loved to fish and he enjoyed his boat. He loved Kiptopeke State Park
and jigging with the “killer rigs”.
I will always treasure the moments we spent with Rick, fishing the tides
on the bayside and Oceanside, in his boat. Cleaning fish and cooking our catch.
Watching his enthusiasm as his fished the mouth of the creek, watching the
rockfish take the hook and make their run, the splash, the fight, and the taste
of the fish on the dinner plate. Rick
loved that I would fix him a big breakfast, cut the bait, and take the fish I
caught off the hook myself.
He loved going to Ray’s
Shanty for “all you can eat shrimp”, or to Chincoteague for dinner at the
water’s edge. Rick was a very
likeable guy, the waitresses all seemed to like him, and would flirt with him.
He had a sparkle in his eyes, and a sense of the “bad boy” would
emanate from him. Rick loved his time with us and would leave to go home to
Darlene and the girls, with fish, crabs, and stories from his trip.
I don’t think that Rick
could feel how much he was loved, and how concerned we were for the life choices
he made. We know he suffered from
addiction to alcohol and drugs. We
tried to be there for him, keeping him busy and happy, we tried tough love
pulling away from him, we just wanted the Ricky we loved to stay with us and not
give in to his addiction. His
addiction was just too strong to fight and it won. We loss Ricky and will forever miss him. I am sure his
spirit is still enjoying the eastern shore of Virginia.
Cindy
Dad
He
loved his boats. The hours he spent working on them, gave him great pleasure.
He was proud of his home on the water and he enjoyed walking down the pier and
checking on his boat. He loved his family, especially my Randy.
Randy and Dad were very close and enjoyed talking about the boats that they had
worked on together.
When
I met dad, he was already starting to show signs of his disease. I knew
him as a hard worker. He always was working on something just like his son. He
was fun loving, always followed his stories with a gentle chuckle and a twinkle
in his eye. He was proud of his accomplishments, and shared the wisdom of
his experiences with his children and grandchildren.
Dad
loved our property in Virginia, but he never saw our home. He would have
loved spending time with us. His last visit with us was when we were
living in Chincoteague.
Dad’s
illness brought Randy and I so much closer to his mom. As dad’s
condition worsen, mom’s love and support of him, showed us just how strong and
compassionate a woman, mom could actually be. She took care of his every
want and need, and we were just amazed at her strength in such a trying time.
When she collapsed from exhaustion she finally agreed that he needed round the
clock care and put in him a facility that could provide that care. It
broke her heart and she felt so guilty, but we told her that was dad’s
request. He did not want any of us to be burdened with his care. She
went above and beyond the call of duty.
Mom
continued to be a participating caregiver and found him even better care at the
VA hospital in Tampa. She visited him regularly and took him everything he
needed along with coffee and treats. Dad would have been very proud of her
and very appreciative of her efforts.
Dad
had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s but actually had Lewy Bodies disease.
He is thought about often, with love and affection and is greatly missed.
Cindy
More to come… add your thoughts.
